[Mis]Adventures in Gym subtitled: Aaron

[Mis]Adventures in Gym

subtitled: Aaron tries not to swear at the stupid people in the attendance office

As you probably know, I missed two weeks of school in early December when I went to the Parliament of World Religions in Cape Town. You also may be aware that New York state law requires students to complete a half-credit of gym each year in high school. For most people, this means gym every other day all year, but I take gym every day
for half the year so that I won't have any afternoon classes next semester. So, for you math
wizards, that means I needed to make up ten gym classes - which can be done Tuesday and Thursday, before and after school, and at lunch.

Bear in mind gym is only one of my seven classes (not including physics independent study) - so I have six other teachers who want me to make up tests and other content-oriented things. The last thing I want to do is spend my lunches and after-school's on a rowing machine.

Since I was so busy, I talked to my gym teacher about an extension for making up the classes because it would have been impossible to make them up before the (arbitrary) deadline. So, today was the last day of gym class, and I tried to give him my
gym make-up slips. He said I didn't have a legal excuse to be absent those days.

Son of a . . .

So I go to the attendance office and ask for a legal slip, but they said I didn't have a
note from my parents. Well no shit! It happened over a month ago. I didn't need a slip because I told all my teachers months ahead of time that I would be gone! Even the principal knew I was in South Africa. But, the secretary in the attendance office didn't.

"Could I please call my father at work? It is imperative that I have this legal slip today."

"Nope. New York state law says we need to have a note."

At this point, Mr. Sinicki, an assistant principal in charge of attendance comes in and is briefed on my
dilemma by his secretary.

"I'm sorry, Aaron, New York state law says we cannot legally excuse you without a note from your legal guardian."

"So I'm told. The thing is, everyone besides the anal-retentive gym teachers knew I was gone legally and didn't ask for a legal slip. Now, I need one. The principal can even vouch for my absence."

"Sorry, not without a slip, New York state law."

I'm extremely angry at this point, and take a deep breathe so that I don't go off on this guy and wind up suspended or something. I think for a moment and say,
"I guess my only alternative is to try to get in contact with my dad."

I wander the halls for a few minutes, trying to burn time. Maybe some of the
blame for this fiasco is mine, because I did wait until the last minute. I
thought about how it might be my responsibility for a while.

Then I forged a note from my father. I underlined 'Aaron Suggs should be legally excused' three times. I walked back to the attendance office and said to the secretary,

"Wouldn't you know it, my dad just got out of a meeting downtown. He stopped by and wrote me the note." She smiled and wrote me a legal slip, and told me to put my father's note on Mr. Sinicki's desk.

I walked into his office, keeping eye contact with him the entire time, and assertively put the note on his desk.

"Is that really your father's signature?"


His face turned crimson-red. I turned and walked out before he could say anything.

I went to gym class, just in time to turn in my make-up slips so I could pass gym.

. . .

Thus ends my experience with high school gym classes.

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