I too possess “darn good” intelligence
These are very uncertain times, less certain than previous times when we certainly took more for granted. But we want to assure you that information contained on this site is backed up by the latest snooping technologies on our trillion-dollar communications infrastructure. So, if we told you that the British told us that Iraq tried to buy plutonium from Niger, the chances that we used that information to mislead you are darn good. We mean, “the larger point is and the fundamental question is, ‘Did Saddam Hussein have a weapons program?’” And the answer to that question is, “we really hope so.”
But what we really need now is closure. Closure is the only cure for uncertainty. Thus, based on our “darn good” intelligence, our press secretary assures you, the uncertain reader, that “the bottom line has been gotten to.”
Thank god.
Related: Bush asks Congress for $30 billion to help fight war on criticism
This entry was posted
by site admin on Tuesday, July 15th, 2003 at 11:43 am and is filed under Nothing in particular.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 
feed.
You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
July 15th, 2003 at 1:02 pm
i think he also said, “i bringed the ruckus. this ain’t no hootenanny. it’s gosh darn nabbit war, jiminy cricket! …pa, where’s ma’ possum?”
July 15th, 2003 at 3:37 pm
*Laughs* Applause!
July 15th, 2003 at 3:38 pm
No, no, no. What he said was:
I be tossin, enforcin, my style is awesome/ I’m causin more Family Feud’s than Richard Dawson/ And the survey said — ya dead/ Fatal Flying Guillotine chops off your fuckin head
And if you want beef, then bring the ruckus/
The U.S. military machine ain’t nuttin ta fuck with/ Straight from the motherfucking slums that’s busted/ The U.S. military machine ain’t nuttin ta fuck with
He also issued this personal threat to Saddam Hussein: “I’ll chop your knee-caps off and make you kneel in some staircase piss.”