Good Stuff
I was about to go to bed just now, but decided I’d read a few AIM away messages
first. Good thing I did, because I checked
href="http://taoofberg.blogspot.com/">Berg’s away message, which led me to
his weblog. The most
recent post reminisces about our summer jobs at IBM, where we were supposedly
inspecting chips for Nintendo Gamecubes and Playstation 2s.
I have experienced boredom in its purest form, and it was my manufacturing
job at IBM. All other boredom pales in comparison. On a given day, some hundred
thousand chips would come through our work area, and it was our goal to see as
few of them as possible.
Here is a list of behaviors that allowed us to see as few chips as possible:
- Flipping screwdrivers was a good way to pass the time, although we maxed out
around 3 flips. Attempting more flips would usually result in us stabbing ourselves
in the hands and forearms. Unfortunately, even screwdriver flipping gets boring
after an hour or so. - Web surfing is pretty much my de facto boredom mode. At work however, I was
expressly not allowed to do it. (There was a quid pro quo that you could surf
the Web only to check the weather or IBM’s stock price.) Thus, I surfed with one
hand on the Alt and Tab keys, ready to switch back to legitimate work as soon
as the boss cracked the door. Homestar Runner
and The Best Page in the Universe were
popular. - "Work poses" were my personal favorite. Work poses are comfortable
poses in which one does no work, but one could begin work at a moments notice
(that is, when the boss comes in). Occassionally, there would be a cart full of
scrap parts that we would need to push to some other part of the factory. Once
full, I would stand near the cart, not doing anything, until my boss walked in.
Then, I would start pushing the cart as if that’s what I had just gotten up to
do. Sometimes I would stand by the cart (actually, leaning against the cart, because
that’s lazier) for a half an hour until the boss checked in on us. - Taking bathroom breaks every half hour, and going to a farthest away bathroom.
Um, there were more but I should go to bed now. Talking with Berg had a lot
to do with that job being sufferable.
Today, Andy asked, "Aaron,
where’s the action?" by which he meant "Why haven’t I been posting much
recently?" I don’t have a good reply, but I hope you will accept the above
as action. For lots of action, see Ben’s Bloggs
are dumb and so are you.
November 7th, 2002 at 10:29 am
Work poses…seriously, that was one of your better ideas. Not that those haiku’s didn’t fundamentally prove they would never fire anyone.
November 7th, 2002 at 2:23 pm
Yeah, I came pretty close to getting fired. Thank goodness I didn’t. But they did fire that kid who always talked about being in the marines: ‘Every marine is an elite fighting force’…’The marines are based on the Spartan military, which was the most well organized military ever’ (but did he know that Spartan generals encouraged homosexuality to increase loyalty?). And this is my favorite: ‘I hate how IBM micromangages everything, they should give us more independence to do what we want, like in the Marines.’ What an idiot.